man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
