She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
and you fell through a lawn chair
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
