i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love you.
Bad choice
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