Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
