apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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