I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
