I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Randomize
