We won't sleep together?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
