New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
