I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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