i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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