Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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