I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
