so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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