Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
