Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
