and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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