she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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