the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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