Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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