You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Who died my cat blue again?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
