The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
