I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
