Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
