It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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