Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
