Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
