Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
