We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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