Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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