so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
