But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
