Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
