Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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