Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
soo... how was my night?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
