it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
