i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
