I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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