you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
