His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
