he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
