the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Rumble strips road head = magical
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
