hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
