You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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