We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize