I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
