i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
