absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
