Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
