dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
