If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
