your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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