she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
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No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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