Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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