I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
