I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
