My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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