Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
