This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
