I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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