Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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