i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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