perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
