At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
