i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
