How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
