I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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